I have to admit that although I felt rejuvenated by the incoming spring season, I didn’t quite feel up to writing very much. Like I said in my previous post, I am working on not pushing myself and only writing when I have the time and the mental capacity.

Honestly, I would say I have a pretty “normal” life but I still find it hard sometimes to find the mental energy to do everything that I want to do which includes writing here on my blog. And that’s okay. It actually shouldn’t matter if you have a chaotic life or a relatively quiet life - if you’re feeling overwhelmed this is still a valid feeling to have and you should do what you need to do to feel at ease again.

I think one of my biggest problems is that I have alot of interests - I actually have alot of things that I enjoy doing and want to do on a regular basis. My blog is one of them however in April it took a back seat to spending time with my favourite people, exercising, reading and gaming. A few years ago I would have looked at April and seen it as an “unproductive” or “failed” month. But now, I cherish the months where I take my life slowly and appreciate all that there is to enjoy in life.

Life is not about toxic productive mindsets, pushing too hard for the next achievement or forcing yourself to be someone you are not. I am not someone who wishes to be an over-achiever with burn out. For me now, life isn’t about grinding away at my latest venture. I don’t want to feel mentally exhausted after a few good “productive” months of blogging. I want my blog to be a place that I enjoy and indulge myself - not somewhere I have grown to dislike because it felt too much like a “job”.

For the last half a year or so my blog has finally become a place where I can truly express myself - write what I want - feel as I want to feel and most importantly be the person who I want to be everyday. And to me, that’s more important that being productive.