Over the last few months my writing has felt lost. Well, at least my personal blog writing has. Sometimes it’s hard to find the right words to say or string together thoughts in a coherent enough way to make words beautiful and worthwhile. I haven’t felt much like doing that lately, especially on here.

I think writing is so personal and vulnerable. That’s why I think sometimes it takes more than just tapping away at a keyboard to share it with the world. For a long time I didn’t want to put anything on my blog that wasn’t my best. You could say I am a perfectionist if you want to put it into general terms. However I wouldn’t see myself that way. I see myself as someone who gets caught up in the intricacies of writing. Does it flow? Didn’t I already say that? There needs to be a break here. That doesn’t read well. I get picky with those kinds of details. But then again, doesn’t everyone who writes? I think perfectionists are usually people who are talented and good at what they’re being a perfectionist about. I wouldn’t say I’m a good writer. I just like to write. I have a few notebooks at home just full of scribblings. They don’t make any sense but when I think of certain things I feel like I need to write them down. Not to do anything with. Just to have. And that’s what I want to do more of on here.

I’m still going to write travel, fashion and beauty articles because they still have a place in my heart. But I want to give myself the space to store all of my scribblings. I think it’ll be fun to populate this online space with my scrambled thoughts and how they appear in my mind. It won’t be my best. But I think that’s the whole point. You don’t have to be a good writer to write. You can just write because you enjoy it and you want to.

I think part of my writing absence is also due to a lack of excitement around my blog and whether or not I am actually any good at this kind of thing. I know I’ve already admitted I don’t think I am a “good writer”. But sometimes it gets all too easy to compare yourself with the endless sea of talented writers and bloggers out there who work a lot harder than I do. That’s when I start to think about what the point of this all is. Then I have to remind myself that there doesn’t have to be a point to all this. If I enjoy it I should do it. And if I don’t I shouldn’t do it.

I started this blog with dreams of being an “influencer”. But now I think I didn’t truly want that at all. I think I just wanted to create and write about something I loved. Being a true “influencer” would probably not be true to my character. I am not an outgoing person who likes to share personal stories. Outside of my blog I am quite shy when you first meet me. I don’t like to be the centre of attention. In fact in most situations I would much rather observe what’s going on around me.

But I adore talking and write about places, things and ideas. Especially when I can hide behind my screen and write all of these thoughts down. I find it easier to explain things when I write than when I am speaking. I’m a wishy-washy speaker. I’m trying to get better at that though.

I’m kind of excited to start being my true self on here and letting my mind run loose. I don’t have a plan and I don’t have a set of ideas in mind. I think I’m just going to get back to writing.