I think confidence is something, no matter how we feel about ourselves, we all still struggle with. If we didn’t, we wouldn’t be human. Our relationships, even the one with ourselves, cannot be perfect all the time. However we can always do things to improve our confidence and mend our relationships with ourselves no matter how broken we believe we are. I am a firm believer that no matter how low you feel, there is always a possibility to pick yourself back up again. Even in your darkest hours, there is still a small glimmer of light in the distance and within yourself to guide you back. It is by no means easy or quick but we can all do it with some self-belief, an established routine and a bit of grit.

I believe that confidence is something that comes from within and it cannot be grown overnight. There is no quick fix to low self-confidence. But there are some things that I have found over the years that have really made me feel much better about myself. Of course, I still have some down days but they are far and few between in comparison to a few years ago.

Fake it ‘till you make it

This is probably one of the most cliched pieces of advice I am going to give. Of course, when I first heard it in relation to confidence, I too thought it was nonsense. I must admit in the beginning when I wasn’t trying so hard to fake it - I felt like it was a waste of time. However the trick with this one is to fake self-confidence so hard and so often that you start believing it yourself. It’s like instilling a habit. If you practice being self-confidence every day you will eventually become more self-confident. Something that I think helped me really “fake” my self-confidence was to smile more and be more friendly. After all, who do you think is more confident - someone who is always serious and frowning or someone who greets you with a warm smile and friendly conversation?

Nourish your body, mind and soul

For me, taking care of myself is a really big part of helping me feel my most confident. Taking care of yourself usually means different things for different people. For instance, I know I always feel good about myself when I have a solid routine. Everyday I like to ensure I include all of these things: a chore, something I enjoy doing, a self-care ritual, a balanced meal and plenty of water. On days when I don’t or cannot do all of these things, I usually feel a bit worse for wear and not myself the next day.

Chores

Chores, whilst boring, do give me a sense of accomplishment and helps ensure mine and my husbands home environment is clean, organised and comfortable. You’d be suprised at how a messy home can make you feel over time. To make it less overwhelming I usually don’t clean the house from top to bottom all in one day - I tend to do a few chores over the entire week. This way I feel accomplished more often but don’t feel overwhelmed with chores.

Enjoyment

To counteract the chores, it’s always important to do something you enjoy - for me this is usually playing computer games, watching Netflix or reading. These kind of activities allow me to escape reality for a bit and get lost in someone else’s story which I really enjoy. Another way I fill my day with enjoyment could also involve moving my body, whether it’s going for a picturesque walk, heading to the gym with some friends or having a dance around the kitchen.

Self care rituals

Self-care rituals can be anything from skincare and hair care to baking a tasty dessert and pairing it with your favourite hot drink. I think self care rituals can include anything that make you feel physically good or make you feel warm and happy on the inside. However I don’t believe that self-care is all about doing fun things or things you enjoy. Sometimes self care, especially if you have the tendency to feel down about yourself, may even be doing things you know are good for you but you don’t necessarily want to do. For me, when I am feeling low, as horrible as it sounds, I sometimes slack in my self-hygiene - I don’t wash my face, teeth, hair etc. This is obviously not okay to leave unchecked because not only does it have some unsavoury personal appearance repercussions, it can also lead to health concerns. So a big part of my self-care ritual is to look after myself in these basic ways too and to do it even when I don’t feel like it. The way I disciplined myself into making these things a part of my self-care ritual is to think in the following way… Yes, I do feel bad and overwhelmed now and I don’t have the energy or time to take care of myself. But if I don’t take care of myself today, I am still going to feel bad tomorrow. So let’s start take care of ourselves today so that we can feel better tomorrow.

Nutrition and hydration

I know sometimes it’s easier to order a takeaway but I also know that alot of us don’t feel great about ourselves once the food is gone - in our bodies and our minds. After a processed or unbalanced meal I usually feel sluggish, slow and just not my best. But I know it’s not always possible to have three perfectly balanced meals a day - sometimes we’re on the go, socialising with friends and family or we just don’t have the time to cook. And that is perfectly okay. What we can do though is ensure we get at least one balanced meal a day. A meal including some protein, carbs and fat with plenty of micro-nutrients. A nutrient dense meal is not only good for you physically but mentally too. Even if you can only ensure one fo your meals in a day is going to be balanced - it’s far better than not trying at all. Keeping hydrated also has similar consequences to not eating a well-balanced diet. That’s why I try to drink as much water as I can throughout the day, even if it is the water in my tea or coffee. Like I said doing a little often is always better than doing nothing at all.

Go easy on yourself

Most days I don’t get to achieve all the things I want or all of the things that make me feel better about myself- and that’s okay. It doesn’t mean I am a bad person or I should feel guilty or that I don’t deserve to be confident in myself. An important part of growing self-confidence is to be patient with yourself and not put too much pressure on yourself. For me, when I start to set myself too many goals that are impossible to reach in the same timeframes it definitely doesn’t help my confidence. Try and be realistic with yourself - what is achievable and what isn’t right now? Stop being a perfectionist - because this is also doing more harm than good for your relationship with yourself. Allow yourself to make mistakes, allow yourself to be inconsistent sometimes. You are not made to be perfect. Once you begin to understand that being imperfect is how you’re supposed to be - you’ll realise the beauty in yourself and it’ll be easier to feel more confident.